|
Bargain Basement Enlightenment
By Montgomery Mahaffey
Whalesong Contributor
"I’m
telling you, Guru Mai is beyond time and space. She’ll be appearing
live via satellite at the _____Center,” said Jack Elias, author
of “Finding True Magic,” to his students. “For just
$400, you can be there.”
“I really don’t have the money, Jack,”
said the teacher’s pet.
“Any contact with this woman and your awakening
is assured,” continued Elias, his eyes widening. “Ask
the universe and the universe will-“
“The universe has told me there is no more money,”
said the pet.
“But for just $400, you can have contact with Guru
Mai, live via satellite,” said Elias. “It’s incredible
how people have come into the money they needed to see this woman.
The universe will provide…”
“The universe told me I already spent more than
my share.” The pet laughed and the rest of the class joined
in.
This scene took place during a course on hypnotherapy
I took several years ago. The only connection between a Hindu priestess
based in upstate New York and a small class in Seattle was through
our teacher – she was his “guru.”
All I wanted was to learn how to hypnotize people to
quit smoking and lose weight and I paid $1600 for the privilege.
What I got was a New Age junkie who scoffed at that as superficial
self-improvement, when our future marks…ahem, clients were
really yearning for transformation. His course would transform us
into the elegant minds that could facilitate this profound experience
after we conquered our “egoic minding.” This would happen
in six weekends, with a follow-up advanced independent study course;
for $1200, one could repeat everything covered in the beginner’s
course…on their time.
“My approach to hypnotherapy is transpersonal in
the sense that I think the client’s goal, whether she realizes
it or not ‘consciously,’ is to be whole and at peace,
moment by moment, in any and all situations, and, that regardless
of the “presenting problem,” the “cure” will
ultimately only be satisfying if it is rooted in, and merely an
expression of, this wholeness and peacefulness.” So wrote Jack
Elias in “Finding True Magic.”
In the nineties, there was big money to be made in exploiting
the frustration of being merely human – everybody wanted to
manifest their own destiny. Elias was a small fish in a large pond
and most of the people in his living room were men and women of
above average intelligence. One would think that they would have
seen through him; yet everybody nodded knowingly during their transpersonal
interactions with the sage who waved his magic markers like a wand.
They lapped up his manure like kittens would a saucer of cream.
They didn’t notice he had something else to sell every weekend.
They didn’t notice that on Saturdays we were done an hour and
a half earlier than advertised. They didn’t notice he made
an art out of wasting time.
I did, and not because of my brilliance - I was there,
wasn’t I? But I must have been the only person there who just
wanted to know how to hypnotize people for shallow reasons. I wasn’t
interested in his religion, his guru, dialoging with my shadow side,
or entity releasing (knowing how to send a ghost into the light
that has possessed your client was absolutely necessary). My aggravation
gave me clarity. I have to hand it to him, though; I think he told
on himself deliberately.
“It is my contention that those who believe in
the mind and apparently have achieved a great deal of happiness
seemingly by following the dictates of the mind, still are experiencing
the happiness beyond the mind as it is identified by and usurped
by the mind as its own accomplishment,” says Jack Elias in
“Finding True Magic.”
There is something undeniably appealing about the spirituality
of the self-indulgent. There is neither guilt nor shame since everything
we do is a misguided attempt to awaken to our pure hearts. Of course,
we won’t gain entrance to this heavenly state of harmony and
plenty without the right teacher to guide us…for the right
price. Who wouldn’t love the idea of being the God of one’s
life? I’d be curious to know how New Age business has been
since 9/11.
Besides witnessing that brainwashing requires consent, I did learn
how to hypnotize people. But, I could have learned the basic techniques
in a couple of days and figured out the rest from books and practicing
on my friends. I think I made a grand total of $100 in my short-lived
career as a transformational hypnotherapist. Most people wanted
to quit smoking and lose weight.
What does any of this have to do with life in Southeast
Alaska? Nothing - it was just a fun article to write. Anyway, I
can make you forget about reading this. Now I want you to DEEPly….RE…lax….breathe
in….breathe out…and…deepLY…reLAX…
Back to issue contents /
Homepage
|
|
