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Student Spotlight: Augie Stiehr
By Michael Johnson
Whalesong Staff
There is a lunatic
who you know on campus. He’s more concerned with math problems
than hair styles; he’d prefer to perambulate in the forest
than trudge a sidewalk’s predictable path. He roars like an
ape and wastes water. His name is Augie Stiehr. He is happily out
of control, he is my roommate.
You’d think that Augie would be a pretty easy person
for me to get ahold of for an interview, considering his room is
adjacent to mine. Wrong. I can never find the guy because Augie’s
always at school, smiling widely and warmly greeting nearly every
person that he passes. His scholastic omnipresence is understandable,
though, because he’s a busy person. In addition to a huge class
load, Augie also tutors mathematics and is a Philosophy T.A. What
I fail to understand is why Augie elects to bike five miles to school
at 8 a.m. in torrential rain when he is offered a ride. And why
I am forced to comb the woods surrounding my house at 11 p.m. to
locate our protagonist, and then attempt to wrestle him to the ground
just to obtain an interview.
He probably would’ve been labeled a “weirdo”
most places, but these idiosyncrasies are what make Augie a standout
at UAS. His original, enthusiastic view of life has certainly contributed
far more to his popularity, among peers and professors alike, than
merely the three years he has invested here. Having known Augie
for about half my life, I realized when I arrived at UAS this semester
that he had found a place truly suitable for him. “I like the
fact that UAS is the only school that I can feel fashionable wearing
red suspenders at,” he laughs. Ahem. I could be crazy, but
something tells me that fashion isn’t Augie’s primary
concern, anyhow.
What this humble man wouldn’t have me tell you
is that he is smart. Real smart. Intelligent to the tune of a four-year,
full-ride scholarship that covers all his expenses and then some.
His ridiculous G.P.A. alone is testament to his abilities, though
if you ask him what it is, he’ll smoothly switch to a subject
he likes to talk about.
There is a lunatic lurking on campus, and he’ll
gladly be your friend. Approach the guy in red suspenders and smile
… he’ll do the rest.
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